Finding My Way So You Can Find Yours

How does one run a company called agile if he is, in fact, not very agile? That was the mental hurdle I was dealing with for the last few months, and part of the reason of why I haven’t written in so long.

But I did do something about it. I had an advanced knee surgery. One that would not simply repair my knee, but rather, make it more than it was originally. I am still laid up and rehabbing my knee, so it remains to be seen how ‘special’ is this bionic knee.

I feel liberated all the same. I feel like my workout efforts now have that sky’s-the-limit mojo.

As I’m laid up in my knee brace, I’ve been working on the things I’ve never been too good at, such as sugar abstinence, sleep and my relationships with the ones I love. I’m trying to find inner peace without having to rely on my physical self. If I can learn to calibrate myself without having to rely on exercise, then I think I will have reached a new place when I do once again have my physical self back.

I’ve been reading a ton lately. I’ve always read a lot, but it’s funny how one takes in information at different ages over his life. At 36 years old, I am by no means old, but I have felt a strong feeling that life choices have narrowed and you start to become who you are and will be. This is unquestionably a result of 2 things: 1) my children; it is breathtaking to watch their energy and restorative power; to witness their growth and 2) aging; my peak is in many ways past. But mentally, I feel extraordinarily more powerful; I find myself thirsty for learning about the world and other people’s experiences. But at the same time, I feel an increased urgency to become who I am so that the world and the ones I love can bear witness.

Fitness, sigh. Folks – that is one piece of the puzzle. I very much want to teach you how to gain control of that piece but that has soooo little to do with the nuances of exercise (i.e. how to do this exercise or that) and so much more to do with your psyche. You need to learn about some things emotionally, not intellectually. Fitness is one of those things. That’s why I don’t use this blog to write how-to articles on fitness. My telling you the proper technique of an exercise doesn’t address the emotional triggers of why you eat so much or can’t get off your butt and go running.

I used to be a trainer. Do you know why I was fit and you weren’t? It’s not because I was superior in finding balance. What is balanced about working in a gym? How could you not be fit when you actually get paid to exercise? So what did I have over you and my clients? I sensed at a young age my coordination and physical strength; I was able to define myself through these innate abilities. I then set out to teach others how they could find their best physical self, and how finding this person leads to spiritual peace.

Why am I writing all of this? Because I see this as a partnership. I want to relate to you by showing my humanity and struggles so that you see how like you I actually am. I don’t want to educate you on fitness in a top-down approach. It’s dishonest and ultimately, not helpful. I think that peeling back my thought-process might help you do the same. I’m hoping that you can find nuggets of insight here so that you can apply it towards yourself.

Stop and think about what you are feeling. Use exercise as a way to flush out those feelings. You are very strong; stronger than you know. Do not use me to try and help make you stronger. I can’t do that. You have to do that. You don’t actually have to get stronger; you simply have to unlock your strength.

Mora

Spring Break, 1997

I will never forget Mora. I sensed we had much in common but I wondered if she would accept me on her back. When I got up on the saddle, she reared high. I stood up with her, ran my fingers through the coarse hairs of her mane and kept my chest pressed to her neck as she reared up on her hind legs. I whispered in her ear, "easy babe, easy." I squeezed her back between my legs to let her know that I was comfortable and that I understood and shared her need to run.

Jen and I were among eight couples who were waiting for the horses to be saddled for what would be a 2 hour horseback ride from the high hills on the island of Aruba, down and along the sandy beach. The ranchers were asking our experience level and I was hesitant to say 'none' because I feel like such an answer doesn't account for my natural athletic ability. So I always say "none, but..."

Everyone except Jen was now saddled up and atop their horses. Jen was the most experienced rider and deemed the only one capable of riding Mora. Mora was brought out, feisty and rearing up on her hind legs. Kicking and bucking. I wouldn't have known that is was such a scary thing if not for the nervous look and mannerisms of the ranchers. "She's okay," they said. "She just needs to be up front."

And so once Jen was saddled up, Mora rudely nudged her way through the tight crowd of 15 horses to be in front. I was jealous. Jen clearly was going to have an adventure while I'd be at the back of the line with Mr. Goat the Horse.

I needed to be on Mora. I never rode a horse before but I just felt like I needed to ride Mora. Jen was willing to switch and the ranchers nervously conceded because I assured them I could handle her.

We descended the rocky trail, single file. Mora and I were contained by the ranchers ahead. The salty scent of the ocean was growing stronger. The beach was near and we could bolt ahead. I would pay no heed to the ranchers caution. I wanted to run with Mora and Mora wanted to run.

Cha! I let out the reigns and snapped my right knee into her side. For a split second, I was stunned by Mora's power as she bolted onto the beach. I could not believe the power she unleashed. We sprinted hard and fast away from our group. I wanted the ranchers to know that Mora didn't kidnap me so I reigned her in, spun around and ran straight back towards our group. We came to a stop and Mora kicked up again. Daringly. High above the other couples and their horses.

As I stood on my stirrups and Mora stood on her hind legs, I nodded to the ranchers that it was okay. I pushed Mora's neck forward, tugged on the left reign to turn her and cha! - sprinted away form our group and onto the light surf.

The sound of the ocean air running past my ears and Mora's rhythmic gallop on the wet sand is my fondest memory of early spring. This memory pulls me through the long days of winter and prods me to stay in shape for the new memories I get to create this spring.

Start with Just Three Exercises

I started going to the gym again recently after laying off for a few weeks. I decided I wanted to just keep it super simple because physical therapy on my knee was eating up my daily workout time. So which 3 exercises did I choose? Pull ups, Dips and Overhead Squats. That's it. 15 minutes and I could claim I did a full body workout!

Now those 3 exercises wouldn't be the right starter exercises for most people so please don't hang from a monkey bar yet.

But which three exercises should you do? I bet most of you would think 'abs.'

Nope - you'd be wrong there. I promise you that no one gets in shape by laying on their back.

It varies with every person and depends primarily on flexibility, experience and body awareness so I can't write a one-size-fits-all solution.

But think in that mindset if you don't know where to get started: start with 3 exercises. After 3-4 consistent weeks, you can add 2 more exercises. That's really all it takes to start looking and feeling good.

If you need help picking three exercises, visit my free exercise library at Agile Fitness. There are hundreds of exercises there that I've spent 3 years making.

I Was the Skyjumper

Can I tell you what it is like to sprint at the fastest speed, plant a 15-foot long pole into the ground, and launch yourself straight up into the sky?

It is the most relaxing place I've ever been. The moment where you stop going higher and begin to come back down to earth - freeze that moment. Peace and comfort. Me being me. Pole Vaulting. Jumping. Skyjumping. That's what we called it.

But one day, it all ended abruptly. I didn't have enough speed as I ran down the runway. I jumped anyway, got about two-thirds of the way up, then came back down way off-center. I landed on an uneven surface, my knee twisted to the sound of a gun shot, and I screamed.

I never jumped again.

It was okay I guess. I found rowing after that and that led me to the same spiritual place, albeit, through a totally different movement.

You see, I have an itch. I've learned that I am not so comfortable idling. There seems to be a spiritual state that opens up for me when my heart rate is around 155 and my body is moving rhythmically. This is where I feel at peace with myself. And if a fellow athlete is alongside me, well, that is where a powerful connection develops. Rowing was beautiful because it was eight of us in the boat, all moving together, feeling each other's rhythms. When eight heavyweight rowers red-line their heart rates together and can still stay relaxed and bonded... Well, that is a special special place for me.

I am missing that place right now and I'm wrecked over it. I hurt my knee again and badly. Not one stride I take is without pain.

I walked by 3 gentlemen playing squash today. They danced with each other perfectly on the court. Synchrony to their motions yet they are trying to beat each other. How is that?

I'm the lion in a cage now. I wanted to play too but I can hardly walk! I didn't want to play to beat anyone, I wanted to play so that I can move alongside my opponent. It's the dance that I'm after. It's the bond. It's the most honest moment I know in life. Two people head-to-head competing, giving their everything. But it's not to beat each other. Its to connect.

My heart wanted to leap out of my body and find another one.

Tidal Wave

I woke up this morning terrified. I had one of those doomsday dreams again - 2nd night in a row. The dream felt so real. Real enough that you wake up with the remnants of those feelings intact. In my dream, a huge tidal wave was approaching. My wife and I were running to try and reach our kids, Mia and Max. In that dreamlike sort of way, we were desperately trying to outrun the wave, but it was all slow motion running. I needed to run faster but couldn't. I looked at Jen and told her I loved her and that I love Mia and Max. None of us were going to make it, but I wanted to squeeze Mia and Max and shield them from this wave. Let the tidal wave hit my back. It is okay that I go, but leave them. Please. Please leave them.

You wake up from a dream like that and it is hard to shift into the everyday mode.

So today I feel my humanity; I feel how precious life is. I am scared that I am not living life to the fullest so I say to myself - what can I do TODAY to amp things up? To make myself standout. To be heard. To be remembered for when that wave does break my back.

Somehow this mood always leads me to the gym or out for a run. The act of exerting myself seems to be that expression of 'I'm alive.' It is that place where I can go to make my back more broad to handle that wave.

You had better do the same if you really want to live a full life. In the beginning, exercise is that cold wave - a jolt that will bolt you out of sleep. Move your body, get your heart rate up. Wake up. Life is today.

The Hot Dog Story

July 1993, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Boathouse Row.

The sun had set. I was alone on the upper deck of my boathouse, Pennsylvania Athletic Club Rowing Association, famously known as Penn-AC. The Schuylkill River was calm and lazily falling over a small damn. Remember the museum steps that Rocky climbed in the movie? That museum, with the lit cityscape above, formed the backdrop to one of the most memorable moments of my life. But on this night I was sad; I was saying goodbye to what was the opportunity of a lifetime and one of the best experiences of my life.

Six weeks earlier, I had arrived, along with 3 dozen of the best rowers in the country. I had only been rowing for 10 months but somehow was invited to Penn-AC, the premier rowing camp in the country, for 3 months of world class training and racing under the direction of US Olympic Coach Ted Nash. I will never forget walking into the boathouse on that first day and being introduced to Mr. Nash. He shook my hand and said to me, "I was watching you row upstairs - you know what I like about you? You're the shortest guy here but you bury your hands in the cage anyway and get the same length as these other guys. You're a good athlete - you're one of Chuck's boys right?"

For the record, I am 6'1" so hardly short. But rowers are an unusual breed of broad-backed giants. I was able to compensate because I have inhumanly large quads, the powerhouse muscle needed to row hard and fast.

Chuck was my rowing coach at the University of Delaware. He was and still is one of the best known and well respected rowing coaches in the country. All he had to do was say to Ted, "I'm sending one of my athletes to you this summer." I showed up hardly a good rower but my athleticism made up for what I lacked in experience.

I was gonna have to prove myself everyday at this camp or I would be sent home. I remember sitting in the #4 seat of an 8 man crew and Ted hollered into his megaphone, "#4 - make your catches faster in the next 5 strokes or you're out of the boat." Funny how you learn quickly when you're given that kind of ultimatum.

Practices were 3 times per day. I had planned on getting a job to support myself but I simply didn't have the time or energy to work. I took a waiter job at a local restaurant but quit on Day 2. I was here to row, not wait tables. But cash - I needed cash. I was losing weight very quickly because I wasn't eating enough. I ate to survive. I bought a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly. I'd eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner until it was gone and then I'd buy it all again. I picked up side jobs moving furniture, painting fences - anything I could squeeze in between practices.

I was becoming desperate for food. On one afternoon practice, I hit rock-bottom - I waited until my crew mates were ready to launch from the dock. I excused myself, ran back into the boathouse, bound up the stairs and raided the small clubhouse refrigerator. Nothing in there. I opened up the small freezer compartment and buried under lots of frost were 2 frozen hot dogs. Fine. I scarfed them down my throat as I ran back down the stairs, onto the dock and into the boat.

I lasted 6 weeks. My crew was headed to the national championships in Topeka, Kansas (I guess they have water there) and I was told to stay behind and catch up on sleep. In other words, I wasn't cutting it.

So while my teammates were competing at nationals, I had the boathouse entirely to myself; I sat on the upper deck of the boathouse and wrote a small note thanking my coaches for the opportunity. I hung out there alone all weekend and reminisced. I packed up my gear and rode my bike back to my hometown which was about 60 miles away.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things differently - I should have asked people for money on the street. I could have put on my crew jacket and told my story. Why didn't I put up a sign on the street and row on a stationary rower on the street telling people why I need money or food!

I gave up, packed my bags and went home. I could have found food. But what I would not have found is the maturity to realize that I did belong there and that I could figure this out.

I'm okay saying that I have this regret. I won't be that person that's lying on their death bed that says, "I have no regrets." I would much rather say, "I've had regrets, but I made things right in the end."

I am making things right. My memory is bittersweet; it was not my time. But my time is now.

So What Now?

Confession: I always exercised as a means to get faster for sports, not just to be a gym-rat type. In high school, I played soccer and ran track. In college, I pole vaulted and rowed. After college, I continued to row on the national circuit and then did the same as a cyclist.

Then my wife and I had kids.

Now that in itself could be considered a sport. One needs to be pretty agile to chase around a 4 year old and an 18 month old. These little creatures do nothing but go. Their energy humbles me.

Anyway, lifting and staying in shape was all about one thing: winning. But why should I exercise now? To race? Nah, I'm starting to feel funny competing at 35. I always raced with the idea that I could qualify for nationals or go to the world championships. I can still do that at 35, but I'd have to give up my business to do it. Not worth it! I'm having too much fun getting you in shape!

So now you and I are in the same boat. We have to keep moving. We have to exercise to stay healthy.

That's what it's about then. Staying healthy. If you had told me that 10 years ago I would have said, "No, the point of training is to get faster so I can WIN.

WINNING has to mean different things to me now. I have to win the game of life. I have to be a good father. I have to treat my body well. Drink lots of water. Sleep. Exercise.

What does winning mean to you? Can exercise help? It is a cure for many things. Try it.

Crisp and Bright October Night

Me, my best friend, Rob, and his professional road racing girlfriend, Katie, were out on an easy spin one weekend day on the backroads of Pennsylvania and Maryland. The riding in that area is among the best I've ever done. Rolling hills and open country. We were on our road bikes now, just opening up our legs for a mountain bike ride that night.

I'd never ridden single track in the dark so I had no idea what to expect. It seemed Rob and Katie shared inside scoop when I asked them about it - they told me to just show up.

Rendezvous was an open field on the north side of town at nine o'clock. Per Katie's instructions, my mountain bike was rigged with a headlamp on my helmet and another one on my handlebars. We unloaded our bikes and layered on the clothing under a high full moon. We checked each other's head lamps and rode off.

Crisp and bright October night.

We rode along the high point across the field toward a dark patch of forest. As we disappeared into the woods, blackness closed in around us; the moonlight above did not penetrate the canopy of trees above and I quickly lost my sense of direction. "Stay on Rob's wheel" - that was the plan I whispered to myself. Rob and I could normally hang with Katie - on our road bikes. On single track? Katie had a finesse that Rob and I lacked. She could dance through the forest at a pace we couldn't. She knew exactly how much speed she could take into each turn. A few minutes into the ride and all we could see of Katie was a spot of light somewhere up ahead dancing through the woods.

Now Rob started opening up distance on me. I couldn't keep up because I was in sensory overload trying to cope with the darkness. The narrow line of sight and winding trail dwindled my reaction time. It was almost impossible to anticipate the turns, so I had to slow down. Katie was now out of sight.

I tried to stay fluid. "Keep your eyes on the trail. See the trail move to the left or right or...down. Dip with it. Keep your body under the bike. Ignore the bright glassy eyes of the animals around you."

Ignore those eyes. I was a little freaked out here. On one hand you know that you're okay - it's not like I'm in Africa and those are the eyes of a lion. On the other hand, when was the last time you were riding through the woods at night - in their home? What happens then? When was the last time one of these animals had this strange earth crunching bike thing running down on them? How would they react? The more I thought about this, the more scared I got.

I suppose Rob and Katie would wait for me at the trail's end. Otherwise I think I would have been out there until sunrise. When the trail finally did break they were there. I cleared the fog from my clear lenses to see them grinning at me. "Oh my god, that was incredible" was all I could say. We knew each other well. They knew I would feel that way, so it was a simple nod of approval.

Katie led onto the next trail set.

Many Ways To Get In Shape

The way to lose weight and get back in shape is to simply start moving your body again. It really is that simple. I'm asked all the time what exercises will help get rid of flab here and there. My answer mirrors the simplicity of the question - do the exercise you like - but do it consistently.

Pilates, weight lifting, Yoga, core, cardio...

What do they all mean? What in the heck should you be doing?

Again - all of them or whichever keeps you engaged. Start with whichever activity that you want to learn, or makes sense to you. The key word there is 'start.'

Now if you've been going at a good clip for a few weeks, then it's time to start mixing it up. The mistake people make at this stage is that they keep doing the same thing because it's all they know. This is where the skinny girl on the treadmill needs to start lifting weights and the big-armed, big-gut guy needs to get on the treadmill.

Now, if you're a competitive athlete, you actually don't want to mix it up too much. You need to specialize in your sport and know when to mix in activity that will help you stay physically balanced and injury-free. A good example is the competitive cyclist - these guys and girls could really benefit from Pilates.

Keep it simple in the beginning. Just start moving again. One day at a time. Look up after about 4 weeks and then say, "okay, what now."

Look At Yourself Naked

Splash cold water on your face, then run that cold water through your hair. Look into the mirror, but deeply. Hold the eyes of the person in that mirror, and look deeper still.

Take a step back from the mirror, and take another look.

Grab onto those feelings and process them right there.

Your Mind and Your Body. Which is stronger for you? How could one be stronger than the other? Wouldn't they support one another? If your mind is so strong, then what thought-process went into leaving your body behind?

Growing up, I took my energy and angst and became physically powerful. My heart beats half as often as the average person's because it is almost twice the size. I wasn't born that way. I made that happen. My heart grew by my effort.

It's taken me a long time to feel as strong mentally as I've always been physically. But I have balanced-out and feel that, if anything, the pendulum is swinging the other way.

And that's good news for you, because now I am in a position to help you.

Racing in Sonoma

Race Day.

Two east coast families, the Pepe's and the Flatley's were standing on the side of the Russian River at 6:30am in Sonoma, California, celebrating the engagement of Chris Pepe and Kim Flatley!

How is that life can take such dramatic turns? One year before, Chris was diagnosed with cancer. How did he feel then upon hearing that news? What lonely moments did he have? I can only imagine how some of those moments must have been.

But now, Chris, along with Kim, were surrounded by the closest family and friends to celebrate their new life together. Perfect.

I'll give a race report another day. What I want to say here is that sports and exercise in and of itself can be a lonely affair. Especially training for an Ironman or a Marathon. There are miles and miles of hard effort with no one around to witness the work you're doing.

But Sonoma was special. I didn't know what we were celebrating! One minute it was Chris' recovery, the next it was Kim and Chris' engagement and the next it was our race! There were so many toasts to be made for so many different reasons that an observer could only say, "well, they certainly have a lot to celebrate."

And that's why I won't forget Sonoma. Here are some of the moments I will remember for the rest of my life:

1. Watching Jen and 150 other swimmers wade into the Russian River and disappear into the misty marine fog.

2. My father-in-law, Vito, helping me put my bike together the day before the race.

3. Riding to the race course on my bike to see how my legs felt. Oh boy - my legs felt goooood.

4. The beginning of my race, when I past over 100 riders in the first 30 minutes fighting to catch up to the leaders. I was flying!

5. Calling my 4 year-old daughter, Mia, from the race course after I finished my 112 miles. It was so sweet to hear her voice.

6. Having dinner Sunday night at that fancy restaurant that overlooked the San Francisco Bay. Beautiful. A great night.

7. Having our wonder wonderful friend Kristen Conners not only show up, but sign up to be a race volunteer! It was like Jen, Kim and I had our own personal assistant in the transition zones! Kristen - how is it that we see each other like once a year - The last time was during a blizzard in the West Village of New York and this time in the transition zone of an Ironman race at 6am in Sonoma California?! Adventure.

8. Meeting Bob and Mary. Bob - I'm serious about the Vancouver to San Diego ride. I've got my bike in one hand and this Moby Dick novel I've been meaning to read in the other. I'm ready.

9. Laying on the blanket after my race. My mother-in-law, Sue had a pile of food for me. A rare moment of guilt-free eat-as-much-as-you-can-of-anything-you-want.

10. Meeting Kim in the transition zone after my ride. She high-fived me, called me a rock star and then sprung out of the gate like a gazelle to run her marathon.

Gearing Up!

I could hear Max and Mia on the other side of the bathroom door impatiently waiting for me to come out and play with them, as that's our normal after-work routine. But wanting to make sure all of my newly acquired time trial gear fit right, I was in the bathroom, putting on my racing shorts, helmet, etc. I had my funky cycling shoes on, sunglasses - everything. I even shaved my legs. Yeah! On one hand I look cool! On the other, just plain weird. Well, let's see what the kids think. Mia is 4 and Max is 1 - they'll be the judges.

I shut off the bathroom light and slowly opened the door. I clumsily walked out of the darkness in my cycling shoes and stood towering over the both of them.

Max - he was staring up at me with blank eyes. Mia started giggling.

I knelt down and in my best Darth Vader voice I said to Max, "Maaax - I am your faaatherrr."

Nothing. Blank stare. The drip of drool that was hanging from his lower lip now extended as a long strand down to the floor.

Mia then said to me, "Daddy, stop being silly."

"Nooooo Miaaaa, I am not Daddy. I am a superhero on a quest to conquer the world."

Max finally blinks and utters, "...Daddy."

This is not working I can see. They're mistaking me for some earthly being when I am in fact a superhero.

I got Mommy a wetsuit. Insane looking one. This thing looked exactly like the female version of a batman suit. Jen prances out of the bedroom feeling just as I do - a superhero!

Mia giggles at Mommy now and starts jumping up and down. Max is lost. He's at an age where he's just figuring things out. You do this to him, and it totally alters his understanding of things.

But now I'm looking at Mommy. You know, it's a simple little mental switch in my head that I can flip - flip switch down and Mommy looks like an elite female triathlete - cool! Fast! Flip switch up - hmmm - kind of looks like one of those sexy bondage things. Didn't know I liked that. Hmmm. Mommy don't look silly, Mommy look good.

Haha.

So, I think we're just about ready. We're geared up, most of the training is done. Jen and I spent the last week tapering. We'll do 2 more weeks of intensity and then taper just a teany bit before race day.

Update on our super fast runner Kimmers coming soon!

Look Past This Moment

On one hand it is good to stop and live in the moment. But what if that moment is a bad place to be? What if you mistakenly rationalize taking one too many breaks for 'living in the moment?'

What if I were to tell you that you can live in the moment subconsciously and still plow ahead practically?

What I'm getting at is this: Real success and real progress is made by putting your head down and getting done the work that needs to be done. People that want real success are not fickle. They do not often trade their focused efforts for passing pleasures. When it is time to relax, this person knows how to do so without feeling anxiety of time wasted. They revel in their relaxation by knowing it is well earned.

My best moments are felt after I've plowed through a mountain of work, whether that work was 60 miles of riding or 2 years of building the thousands of pages of my website. It's funny how on one level the work is grueling and monotonous, but when you look back, you remember it as 'those were good times.'

Coming Together for Chris

Chris is alive.

Chris, take a deep sigh of relief. You're at the other end now buddy. You are alive and as healthy as can be. You've got a beautiful girl, the best family I've ever known, and a group of friends I've secretly been making my own.

The training Kim, Jen and I are doing is supposed to be a sacrificial symbol of the struggles you endured to beat cancer. But how can I say that the training we're doing is a sacrifice? Kim's running and I know it exhilarates her. It seems that she is being who she is - a competitor. Someone that goes after something she wants. She has a marathon to run. Her first ever. So what did she say to me yesterday? "I'm not worried about finishing it, I'm worried about not going fast enough for us to win."

Jennifer? It is 9pm as I write this. Jen is swimming a couple of miles right now. Is it a sacrifice? No. She's living, she's breathing. She's in her element and giving the same uuumph that she gives on her desk everyday. I have never seen her so focused and happy. And I've never been so proud of her as I am today.

Me? I haven't ridden my bike in 4 years before this event. My last race was against some pretty fast pros and Olympians before I happily disappeared into babyland. But I missed 'the race.' You got me back on my bike again. It's like I've been sleep-deprived dormant for 4 years. I feel awake now. I feel alive.

Thank you Chris. It is around you that a large group of family and friends will travel across the country to celebrate your life and each other.

Cheer us on everyone. Make that cheer loud. Make that cheer echo for a lifetime.

Rowing Hard

I worked 2 jobs when I was a college student at the University of Delaware. Weekdays I worked at the campus fitness center and weekends I worked double shifts waiting tables at the Ground Round. This on top of a full course load and Crew practice 6 times per week. I was busy!

One night I was closing up the fitness center and thought I'd get a 5000 meter row in on the erg before I left. It was a spur of the moment thing; my coach said he wanted to see us pulling 5000's in addition to the practices. So I shut down most of the lights, put the stereo on, sat on the machine and starting pulling.

About 200 meters into it I realized that I felt unusually strong. Why not go for a PR (personal record) at the distance? I notched up my pace faster than I normally would at that distance because I had wasted 200 meters pulling lightly.

I wish I could find the words to describe the pain that comes over your body during rowing. Rowing is not like other sports. It's a full body effort on every stroke. Your legs, back, shoulders and arms are working in concert and hard on every pull. Your lungs cannot feed oxygen to such a large group of muscles fast enough, so, with every passing stroke lactic acid accumulates. And it begins to burn. Getting that burning feeling in one muscle when you're lifting weights is one thing, but throughout your entire body? That is something else.

I was aiming to break the 17 minute barrier for 5,000 meters. If I could do it, it would have been only the 2nd time anyone would have done it in UD Crew history.

One thing I have learned through training is how to surrender to pain. You know it will hurt, so you just accept it and deal with it along the way. Not by slowing down, but by actually rowing through it.

It was at the 2200 meter mark that the pain started to dominate my thoughts. It's a feeling of despair - "How can I keep up this pace for 2800 meters? There's no way." I took a hair off the pace - 1 click down and that's it. Just a gesture really. A mental negotiation with my body as in "alright, I'll give you 1 second off my 500 meter pace if you just get me to 3800 meters."

Somewhere along the way my body started tingling, and with the lights dimmed, I was having trouble focusing. My mouth was open as if I were a snake dislocating my jaw to feed. It was my lungs' way of saying, "I need more air so you need to make your airway bigger."

I couldn't hear anymore either. I'm not sure how or why this happens. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you just go so within yourself that you can't focus on the external world. I heard my breathing, not from my mouth, but from the vibration of my chest expanding and collapsing as fast as possible.

Usually rowers turn it up a few notches with 500 meters to go. It's called a 'power 10.' I started my power 10 at 900 meters because I wanted to get to that 500 meter mark as fast as possible. I knew that if I could keep my pace to that point I was in the clear from blowing up.

Maybe there was pain and my memory is choosing to not remember it. I'm not really sure. I think its more that I reached a certain fitness level and my body learned and adapted to persist in a highly toxic anaerobic state.

I remember being wide-eyed as I crossed the 4500 meter mark, did the quick math, and realized that I was in fact going to break 17 minutes. When something is that close to happening, you simply cannot let it go - right? You have to get it. You have to fight for it.

Remember I said that. When you are competing for something - and I'm not just talking about sports - go and get what's yours. But therein lies a big secret - you need to feel that it is yours for taking.

Time: 16:46

Doing Abs Exercises: A Waste of Time.

I'm passionate about exercise. But as an athlete, I've always been frustrated by the way the fitness industry worked. Great Abs in 8 minutes a day? It won't happen. That Suzanne Summers thigh-blast thing? A complete waste of your money.

Think of it this way. You're a little overweight, so you lay on your back and lift your torso up a few inches off the floor over and over. Is this going to help you lose your gut? The answer is no.

If you want to lose weight around your stomach, you need to be doing exercises that have you on your feet. You need to be moving around, just as you do in everyday life. Even more important than full body weight bearing exercise - you need to improve your eating habits.

I started Agile Fitness 3 years ago. It represents 80 hour weeks and hundreds of thousands of dollars. It is a solution. I don't advertise 'the quick and easy weight loss solution.' Why? Because there isn't one. If that's what you want, then Agile Fitness is not for you.

I applied how I used to train in Track & Field, Rowing, Soccer, Weight Lifting and Cycling to Agile's exercise programs. Every program uses what's called a periodization technique. A fancy way of saying that each week gets progressively harder and then tapers off so that your body can regenerate. Every program is 4 weeks long. The 1st week is 'Begin,' the 2nd week is 'Build,' 3rd week 'Peak,' and 4th week 'Taper'

Going through this Begin, Build, Peak, Taper process yields life-changing results if you stick with it and give it time. The matrix of exercise programs is inter-related. This means that when you finish one program, we recommend the next one. In time and with consistency, you're moving through a goal-oriented path. Along this path, you're body will change. But more powerful, your mind will change. You will become mentally stronger. Your immune system will become stronger. Your flexibility and agility will improve.

It was so important to me to create a life-changing process, not a quick fix, let-me-take-your-money fad. I know it will take time for my business to root and grow. And I certainly see that I need to do a better job of explaining the benefits and power of our exercise programs. And this is one of those efforts.

I hope you take the time to read through my site and learn more about what I do. It's easy to forget that there are real people behind the sites you see on the internet. Well, I am real, I am alive and I want to help you.

If You Had To Pick Just One Exercise

I spend most of my days in 1 position: hunched over my desk staring into the computer. Ironically, my exercise activity of choice, cycling, has me in the same position, hunched over my road bike. For years, I've had the same knot in my neck, some days worse than others, but always there. I call them 'trap knots' - its a knot of muscle tissue in a muscle called your Levator Scapulae.

Jennifer, my wife, has the same problem, but much worse than I do. She is also hunched over her computer and is a swimmer. The muscles in her chest, shoulders and traps are very strong, but very tight.

Only recently, and in all my years as a fitness professional, have I discovered a solution, with the help of my orthopedic doctor, that has me completely pain free. I've passed it onto my wife and she is starting to feel better too.

I now call the exercise Medicine Squats. I used to call them Overhead Squats, but that name connotes power-lifting to me and that's not what this is at all. Look for the exercise in Agile's Exercise Library under the Medicine Ball category.

My doctor helped me piece this together. I complained to her of my trap knots and said, "that's my Levator Scapulae right?"

She replied, "Well yes, but it's a larger problem than that muscle. You're entire thoracic spine is tight because you're always forward-positioned - you need to stretch out your thoracic spine."

Her eyes lit up when I asked her if an overhead squat with a medicine ball would be a good exercise to stretch out that region. She agreed whole-heartedly. Squatting stretches your lower back when done correctly. So placing your arms overhead, especially with a closer grip on a medicine ball, puts your Lats in a stretched position which extends the lower back stretch up your spine and all through your thoracic region.

I've been having different people try this exercise since then (i.e. my mother-in-law!) - and most of them cannot do this exercise well at all.

Now my wife and I do the exercise every day - not necessarily as part of an exercise routine, more apart of the brushing-your-teeth routine. Think: "after I take my vitamin C, I'm going to do my 2 sets of 15 Medicine Squats."

Now please realize that you probably are not going to be able to achieve the form shown in the drawing for some time. Instead, concentrate on only going 1/4 of the way down with your legs; focus more on keeping your arms straight overhead and close to your ears. When you squat, you're arms will want to either bend or tilt forward. This is because your back is tight! Only go down to the point where your arms can still stay straight up overhead.

With your lower body, keep your toes pointed straight ahead and feet spread shoulder-width apart. If you spread your legs wide and outward - sumo style - then you release your lower back from getting a stretch, which eases the stretch on your thoracic spine and negates the whole point of the exercise.

I hope you try it. Remember - Brush your teeth, take your multi-vitamin and do your medicine squats. :-)

A Workout Here and There Counts

In my experience, most people want a clean slate when it comes to starting an exercise program. There's the thought, "as soon as I get through this week I'll get back in the gym - on Monday."

This won't work. Your life is filled up - there's a lot to do. Next week there will be a lot to do too. The better approach is to let your workout be imperfect. Walk in the gym and start moving. Without worrying whether you should do this machine first or that machine at all - just get on one of them, because we've gotta keep you moving until things smooth out for you and you can devote more thought into a planned routine.

When you do start that exercise program routine, you need to know that it is okay to miss a day here and there and not feel that all is lost. Here's a good guide for what to do if you do fall off track:

> If you miss less than 3 days in a row, then just move on to your next workout.

> If you miss more than 3 days, then go back to the beginning of that week, repeat that week before moving on.

> If you miss more than 10 days, then start your exercise program over.

Mia And The Moon

In a colorful sunshine dress, ponytail pulled tight, I watched my daughter bound down a moonlit grassy fairway yelling, 'c'mon Daddy let's go.' A crescent moon was directly over us. It illuminated the fairway so we could see our strides. The hills and bunkers of the golf course appeared as dark mounds to the left and right. The moon marked a silvery path on the ocean that was also to the right of us.

What a moment.

Mia was a few strides in front of me. She surprised me by taking off down the fairway, so I was only now catching up. She heard me coming. I could tell by her giggle. She giggles when I'm chasing her. As she ran, she kept stealing glances back to see me. She scares me when she does that because she's running without watching where she's going. But since we're on a grassy fairway, she'll land softly - or disappear into a sandy bunker. So I think its safe. Sure enough, her toe catches a nob of grass and she tumbles forward, falls to the ground and rolls on her back. Giggling.

I plop down next to her faking a fall myself, adding to her rolling crescendo of giggles.

What a moment - we're staring up at the crescent moon. Its brightness created a silvery lining on the topside of the clouds. The clouds were moving fast, the same speed as the breeze coming off of the ocean. Mia says to me, 'Look at the clouds Daddy!'

I was acutely aware of this moment as it was happening. The significance of it and the memory it would create was not lost on me as it was unfolding. For once, I was living in the moment.

I'm fortunate to have that moment. I'm fortunate to have been able to keep up with her and move with the ease that she moves. She has a spring in her stride that is gone from mine. I am still fast and agile, but it is a 'trained fast and agile.' Mia's speed and agility is effortless, untrained and inconsequential.

There are many points to this small story, but the one relevant to this blog and my service to you is this: keep moving. Don't go dormant. Exercise not to look great, exercise so that you can move through your life more effortlessly, whether that's hopping a puddle on the sidewalk, or running after your giggling daughter on vacation.

The Downside of Motivational Blah Blah

The guilt factor. When I reach out to others about if there is anything I can do to help them with exercise, I feel that they feel guilty. As if I might be saying, "are you doing what you are supposed to?!"

Please know this:

I understand the ups and downs in life. I understand time is scarce. I understand the feeling of exercise feeling like a chore.

I understand that you may just not want to go. Period.

Personal Trainers burn out fast because they feel compelled to motivate their clients upfront. What happens when the trainer pushes a client, fills them with emotionally charged motivational blah blah? The client buys into it. But the moment the client fails to live up to trainers expectations, the client feels they not only failed themselves, but they've failed the trainer. For those of us that are not serious athletes, this is not good. It is counter-productive.

At first, you'll love the trainers kick-in-the-butt. But it is almost always short-lived, because everyday life events will naturally derail 'the plan'. Its not sustainable to be perfect. Who wants to feel the guilt of not being perfect? I certainly wouldn't.

The motivation to train/exercise must come from within you. My role is to be there for you when you feel the time is right.

The key for you is to learn different ways of making healthy lifestyle decisions (exercise) more often. Not permanently or all the time. Just more often.

When we're aligned and jiving - welcome! How can I help?